Well aren't these two just a ray of sunshine.

Just a snapshot of our morning routine. Two very happy people who can't wait to start the day.

Happy Monday to you too!

Animal Geniuses

Have you seen this craziness? I'm probably the last person on the planet to see this, but I am dying. DYING. It's hysterical.

And in case you are begging for more...

More Reality TV Dumbness...

Only this time, it's about that lunatic, Charlie Sheen.

When we were in NYC I was hell-bent on walking through Central Park. I had never done it before and I always pictured myself frolicking down the paths around the lake gazing up at beautiful skyscrapers. Too bad it was totally freezing and I'm 30 years old. Not a whole lot of frolicking going on, unless its in my head. Luckily Rod decided to humor me and agreed to walk along the side of the Park en route to the Shake Shack celebratory dinner we decided to have since Rod had found out he passed his last administrator exam WOOT!.
The incident happened like this:

We come out the subway and are greeted by an enormous crowd gathered around Trump Towers. Black SUVs, police officers, cameras, you get the idea. We thought for sure it was The Donald, so we decided to hang out for a few minutes to see if anyone came out. There was this southern lady standing next to us with a super telephoto lens, fanny pack, and talking all serious on the phone about the whereabouts of this "important person." Definitely paparazzi, right? Wrong. And right when I was getting a little embarrassed about incessant picture taking. At least my camera was a little point and shoot and not some 40 inch camera.

We decided we would watch her because she was pretty excited and seemed to be "in the know." All of a sudden she goes, "Oh my Gawd! There is one of the Goddesses!!!"

We were like, "Wait a minute...The Donald doesn't have Goddesses."
"The Donald?! pssht. Charlie Sheen is staying at Trump Towers and is doing his show tonight and he's already late to get to Radio City Music Hall."
"Ohh, Charlie Sheen..."
Now that is one crazy sighting. So, like a pack of weirdos, we decided--like any respectable human, we would stick around long enough to see Charlie Sheen brave the restless crowd. There were definitely a few guys who looked like they wanted to kick the crap out of old Charlie.

This guy wasn't one of them...although I thought he looked very appropriately like a paparazzo.
Then the southern lady told us she was just a tourist, but that she was getting all her info from the paparazzi guy standing close by. (Who was very forthcoming with the info of the Head Warlocks' whereabouts.)

And that, my friends, is where the Sheen story ends. You see, 5 minutes turned into a good 30 and I got cold. REALLY cold. And that Jimeny Cricket in my brain was screaming, "WHY ARE YOU WASTING ONE MORE SECOND OF YOUR TIME DOING THIS." But mostly, I was cold.

So that was the story about how we ALMOST saw Charlie Sheen. And apparently New York felt the same way about his show that night.
We did, however, enjoy gorging on Shake Shack. nom nom nom. So unbelievably, amazingly good in the moment, SO gross the rest of the night.

Funny, New York

Hey, look at me guys! I'm on the subway! With sunglasses on!
Well, now that we got that nonsense out of the way...
Just a few things you wouldn't see in your typical American suburb. Honestly, as much as the convenience of the suburbs is just waaay easier when raising a family, hoofing it around NYC made me fantasize about moving into a 500 sqft apt so I could see signs in the subway like this everyday.
What IDIOT does that? Honestly. (Clearly idiots of all nations must do it because the sign was in 15 different languages.)

Hmmm. Good to know.
Not that HIV or anal cancer is a laughing matter but the public service announcements were definitely...interesting. What you can't see very well on this one is the picture of the skeleton in the bottom corner with his anus ablaze. I think the red letters were enough to get the picture. Yikes.
These next few were taken from this glorious little "Pinkberry" style rice pudding dessert shop called Rice to Riches. Best Marketing EVER. Delicious too, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Wise, wise words.
Phew. Thank goodness Rod saw this sign. He was just about to sit on the curb to do his business (as depicted in the rendering) and luckily we looked up and saw this painted on the side of the building. TRAGEDY AVOIDED.

Beyond Belief.

So did I mention we are moving? AGAIN!?!?! I know. It's BEYOND ridiculous. This will be the 4th move in 9 months. Visalia-Utah-Visalia-San Jose-?

I know it's excessive, especially because when I tell my friends, THEY get mad about it for me. (thanks guys). We still don't know where we are going yet and probably won't know until the end of the month. Most likely somewhere in northern California. But honestly, yeah--its stupid, and I'm sooooooo over it.

Apparently this will be the last move for a while and it should happen sometime in May-ish. (Although, I'm not getting my hopes up). I am sad to be leaving the Bay area, especially when we are just getting settled and I love my little house.

HOWEVER, there are always new adventures in store and we seem to be headed in the right direction. Every move, I have been pleasantly surprised at the friends I have made and the fun things to do in new areas. I am thinking I might have to open up a moving consultation business because I am getting to be such an expert at it. Except I would never do that.

Anyway...that is my scintillating info for the day. I am looking forward to being settled. Whenever that is. In the meantime, I am learning how to exist in the chaos and be okay about it. So that's something, right? Now comes the waiting...

Here's to new adventures, wherever they may be...

photo credit here.

Hello Snail Breath

Landon has been known to put a few handfuls of dirt in his mouth or chew on a few rocks every now and again. B.O.Y. Clearly the reason for "stick and snails and puppy dogs tails" types of nursery rhymes.

Anyway, the other day I saw him gagging while he was standing over by the vegetable garden. Of course my first instinct is to have a heart attack. The next is to panic and think that he is choking on a rock. As I rush to his side, I notice something sticky in his hand and half of a crushed snail on the bed of rocks under his feet.

I shove my finger in the shape of a hook in his mouth and dig for anything I can. But of course he bites down with all his might, not wanting to let go of his French culinary brunch that he found in the garden.

I peel whatever was left of the snail out of his hand and throw it on the ground, trying to contain my gag reflex, and dive in for round two.

Ugh. I hit something hard at the roof of his mouth. Slowly pulling it out for examination...yes, just as I feared: Snail shell.

Now comes the dry heaving. By me, not him.

Landon, safe from choking, now smiles big and moves in for a kiss. Kids get over the most traumatic events with the greatest of ease.

Why thank you little pants-less snail breath.

Jesus at Best Buy

We've been working with Landon on understanding who the Savior is on the most basic level. We read him stories, show him pictures, and he seems to like it. He has gotten in the habit of seeing pictures of Christ at church and he always gets excited, jumps around, points and yells (usually during the sacrament or when everyone is really quiet) "Jeejus!" He will see pictures and images that look kind of like Christ, but aren't, and still scream, "Jeejus!!!! Jeejus!" I can tell he's proud of himself. Probably because Mommy gets REALLY excited that he is picking up on not only objects and colors but also church stuff;)

As most things are with kids, his vocab words ebb and flow. Some weeks it's all about dogs, some weeks it's trains, and some weeks it's Jesus.

Well, I hadn't heard about "Jeejus" in a while and I was having a particularly difficult "toddler day" trying to entertain/distract him to avoid a tantrum while running errands. I had gone into Best Buy to look at a camera (to replace my phone cam...) and of course it was just one hazard after another with him. Escalators, TVs, cameras...never a good idea to take a toddler to an electronics store without back-up.

I had gone through all the animal crackers and 2 different sales people, who were noticeably flustered with how rambunctious he was being while they were delivering their sermon on the Canon dlsr'--and mid-sentence--would pawn me off on another person to take over. Finally the third sales person showed up about the time I had gotten Landon sitting down, reading a book in the middle of the aisle.

The sales guy was really helpful and I was just about to purchase the camera when I hear a piercing yell, "JEEEEejus!!! JEEJUS!" The sales person, of course, couldn't really understand what he was saying, but was surprised by the sudden hysteria. Landon didn't stop. "JEEE-jus!!!! JEEEJUUUUUS!" Pointing and jumping! (He has an astoundingly LOUD voice).

Clearly he wanted my acknowldgement. The usual round of applause he gets when he gets something right.

You see, the sales guy looked EXACTLY like Jesus. 6 feet tall, long, slightly wavy, brown hair flowing loosely to about 3 inches below the shoulders, olive skin, long nose, subtle facial hair, and a kind demeanor. Landon was dead on (except for the blue Best Buy shirt). No wonder he was so excited. In his mind, he was actually seeing Jesus--THE JESUS that mommy won't shut up about--in person.

The sales guy kept looking at me funny, like, "Lady, what is is this kid saying?"

Of course, I'm a little worried now...what is the politically correct thing to say? We are in the Bay area, after all, I don't want to be disrespectful. While the inner dialogue continues there is the ever-present toddler screaming at the top of his lungs "JEEJUSS!"

Hilary: "Yes, honey, he looks just like Jesus, huh?"

Landon: Huge grin. Clapping.

Sales Guy: Laughing (Hilary--thankfully) "I haven't heard that one before," as he does the Catholic Cross thing.

Luckily we all had a good chuckle. My biggest regret is that I didn't ask to take a picture with the guy, as tacky as it would have been to do so. I did take a pic when we went back later with Rod of Landon on the escalator.

I realized this was a momentous occasion not just for Landon getting to meet the Savior at Best Buy in the same way he could meet Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, but also it signified the first time that my child successfully embarrassed me because of something he said. This, I'm sure, will not be the last.

I am very happy that he thinks about the Savior. For all the things I am no-doubt doing wrong, at least I am doing something right...maybe.

Welcome to the Jungle

It's always a little difficult and exciting to to move to a new place for somewhat the same reasons: making new friends, finding your way around, and creating a new schedule so that your days aren't spent in sweats with no make-up. (I might be speaking from experience on that last one, despite the MADE teachings...)
Luckily, I knew a few nice people when I moved here (one being my cousin and another a girl I went to HIGH SCHOOL with...this is really crazy because I went to a teensy-tiny high school in Kamas, UT). Anyway, Megan (girl from high school), was very nice to invite us to this beyond WONDERFUL place called "The Jungle" where for $3 on Tuesday all of my dreams come true. Landon plays in what I am sure is a disgusting, germ infested, but oh-so-fun sea of balls, while I can talk to adults for an hour.
Little buddy thought he had died an gone to heaven. I love the little blondie competing for playtime surrounded by Asian babies. Welcome to Cupertino. :) He better get used to competing with Asians if we stay here, apparently they are the reason "the schools are so amazing" here. (which makes me happy--another reason I like the Bay area--diversity) That's all anyone talks about in the Bay area...I didn't realize how competitive PUBLIC SCHOOL was until I moved here.

Where I grew up, you just went to the closest, super pimped-out school building and received your sub-par education from 20% of teachers who cared and 80% of teachers who were just there to coach sports and ride horses. 80% of the students got between a 3.75-4.0 GPA, were involved in 25 extra-curricular activities, and never did homework--which was awesome--until the ACT came around and everyone got a 19. In California, these schools look like run-down, dilapidated bomb shelters but apparently everyone in attendance is going to Harvard someday. Or so I hear.
How cute are all those little babies!?! I digress.
Aside from the "ball-pit" we found a little snoopy truck. He's totally obsessed with driving anything, so this was especially fun for him. I couldn't get any big smiles because when he is around trucks and cars its more of a "Get out of the way Mom! I've got a job to do," mentality, rather than a "whee! this is fun," kind of a thing.
We will be returning to this place for sure...maybe after pre-school prep class. (wink, wink).

I'm kind of obsessed with red lipstick right now...

It's a little ridiculous and I'm wondering if its even age-appropriate. Something about being 30 makes me think about stuff like that a lot more. BUT I am in love with this retro red lipstick. I also like how i just got rid of my nose completely, ever want to do that ladies? I guess I was having a bad nose day.

RZ totally HATES it. LOATHES it. He's that CA guy through and through. He always says things like "I love it when you don't wear ANY make-up." But don't buy it for one second. I promise you, when I put on the "full face" he's always like "You look so pretty! yadda yadda." He doesn't say that when I don't wear make up.

Moral of the story: Guys like make up. They love it. They just want it to look natural. In the meantime, I will be wearing my red lipstick to the grocery store and getting strange looks for it. That's fine with me.

Lipstick is NARS Jungle Red.

My two cents on {The Bachelor}

Couple of thoughts:

• Oh how I wish we could have gone to Costa Rica this year with my parents. How gorgeous is that place?
  
• That resort looks amazing but I would be nervous to be that close to a live volcano.
• Chantal O is a Looney Tune but boy is she a beauty. "I'm totally in love," on the second date...sounds like a few other Mormons I know. ;)
• Brad's "seriousness"is starting to get annoying. He would be kind of boring to be married to, I think.
  
• Brads attitude toward Michelle is just "shut up and lets get it on."
• Emily is still my fav
• Brad and Alli on two asses. Hilarious.
• Why does every girl on The Bachelor have fake boobs?
• How amazing are the car scene's? They can't just walk away and compose themselves, they have to talk to the camera all the way to the airport.
  
• You gotta hand it to Michelle, she knows how to make herself the star of the show. Even though she is just gross.
• Brad's mental capacity can't handle Michelle's level of manipulation. How awesome would it be if he sent her home?
• I'm bummed he sent Jackie home. She looks like Sandra Bullock meets a Kardashian.
  
• How about those promos?! Cant wait til next week.